Cold call meme from Scream

Cold Call Memes and the Harsh Truth About Sales Success

Thanks to the internet, you can find memes of anything nowadays. That includes cold call memes, just to strike you with a jolt of all-too-real fear. But sometimes it can be nice to sit back and make fun of yourself a little. After all, cold calling is rarely anyone’s favorite part of the job.

We’ve compiled ten of the best cold call memes so you can do exactly that. Feel free to share them with fellow cold callers so they feel your pain.

Table of Contents

1. It’s a Hard-Knock Life

ABC = Always be calling #salesrep #coldcalling #tech #startup #aitools

♬ original sound - - AI Meeting Recorder

Being a sales caller is like being a guest at a party, except for the fact that:

  1. You’re not invited,
  2. You’re annoying all the actual guests by trying to sell them something.

You might have to dodge one or two metaphorical glass bottles here and there, but cold calling isn’t all that bad. Right?

It’s not exactly an enviable task, let’s put it that way. It comes with more rejections than a bad pickup line in a bar, but surely that just makes the joy of success all the more sweet…

Even still, as this cold call meme all-too-accurately shows, it can be brutally slow at times. Your team will face setbacks and, at times, rafts of abuse. But don’t let it get to you. Keep persisting and your luck will change eventually. Even if you’re told to f**k off a few times along the way, it will all be worth it when your bonus lands.

2. If Only Reverse Psychology Was This Simple

If cold calling scripts were this powerful, we’d all be incredibly rich. Unfortunately, no clever amount of manipulation will hide the fact that your cold call is intrusive. Trying to use reverse psychology on your prospect is a fast-track to hearing the dial tone.

While your sales spiel might trick someone into listening, it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll build a genuine and long-lasting connection. Do yourself a favor and save yourself the trouble. Be genuine and honest from the start.

Having said that, there are ways you can use reverse psychology to your benefit. Check out the Inoculation Effect.

3. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words… Will Hurt Me

Imagine having a recurring nightmare; you’re up on stage and everyone’s laughing, jeering, and hurling abuse. You’re the punchline. That’s a very real risk when cold calling, and while it’s rarely as bad as this cold call meme, it’s never nice.

No matter how thick your skin is, nobody likes to be verbally abused over the phone, especially every day. But there is good news: sadomasochists are welcome to apply due to fair hiring policies.

Fun fact: this cold call meme is actually based on a real recording… Whether you’ve had a psychopath on the other end of the phone or not, it’s a stark reminder of the reason why most people hate cold calling. It’s unnecessary torture. But at least you get paid for it…

4. There’s No Time Like The Present

Hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time IB: @Sassy SDR #salesdevelopmentrepresentative #bdr #salesmemes #saleshumour

♬ original sound - - AI Meeting Recorder

You can try forever to find the best time to cold call, but there really is no time like the present. You’ll hear everything from, “Call me back in five minutes,” (Which turns into five decades) to “I’m away right now, call me back in a few weeks?” (A few weeks being never).

Statistics will tell you not to call on Monday mornings as it’s when people are busiest, but it’s also wise to avoid Friday evenings when people simply don’t give a sh*t. Midweek is usually the sweet spot, but the truth is: you never truly know when you’ll be able to reach a prospect. Make the call and hope for the best.

Ideally, they’ll be alive when you reach them.

5. Anything But Cold Calling

Uno cold call meme

A whole hour of cold calling is like signing up for a martial arts class as a beginner. You start excited about the possibilities, but an hour later you’re battered and bruised and seriously pondering your life decisions.

There are some positives when it comes to cold calling. Someone knows them, somewhere. But for now, just take the roulette of interactions as character building. You’ll definitely improve your confidence by having to face the dreaded dial tone every day. Just take it and run with it. There’s plenty more hours to come.

6. A New Technique to Try

Desperate times call for desperate measures #sales #salesmemes #salesrep #saleshumor #coldcall #accountexecutive

♬ original sound - - AI Meeting Recorder

As a salesperson, you’re always on the lookout for successful sales tips. We’ll save you the time: this cold call meme has the answers for you. Let’s face it, if that doesn’t work, nothing will.

In truth, cold calling and hang-ups go together like star-crossed lovers. It’s almost like playing a one-man game of musical chairs where the music is the dial tone, but there are no chairs and you’re just standing there like a lemon. 

Silver linings though; at least you’re practicing your opening line. Practice makes perfect!

7. Fixed: Lost Leads


Every cold caller can relate! #coldcalling #telemarketing #sales #telesales #leadgen #leadgeneration #breakingbad #salesmemes #saleshumor

♬ original sound - Paragon Sales Solutions

Calling back a lost lead is like trying to rekindle a romance that you ruined. The likelihood is they’ve moved on. But hey, you won’t get anywhere without trying. You can pick up the phone and dial the digits, hoping to revive what was lost, but don’t be shocked if you hear those famous last words, “Sorry, I’m with someone else now.” Pure pain. 

But don’t worry. You can always get your colleague to call them instead! Or check out HubSpot’s guide to re-engaging lost leads.

8. AI is Coming For You

Careful Sales, AI has got its sights set on you #sales #salesmemes #salesrep #saleshumor

♬ original sound - - AI Meeting Recorder

Imagine getting replaced by someone who’s better at everything you do and doesn’t even need coffee to function. Well, you might not need to imagine because it’s becoming a reality. And no, this isn’t a 90’s sci-fi movie. This is 2024. Welcome to the future.

In all seriousness, AI can’t create long-lasting customer relationships… yet. But the real question is: can you?

9. Dodged a Bullet

Communication is key. You can talk till you’re blue in the face, but if you aren’t being listened to, then you might as well go talk to the office goldfish. If you can’t relay basic information to one another, how can you expect prospects to put their trust in you? 

Having said that, it’s also worth noting that some prospects are just d*cks. If the prospect is unreasonable and abusive, you’re better off without them. Don’t put up with the stress and tension of having to deal with explosive prospects if they show you unreasonable disrespect. Cut your losses. Your mental health is more important than a single customer.

10. Script Amnesia

The brutal truth of following sales scripts is that, more often than not, you sound like a bumbling idiot. This is especially the case if it’s your first time with a new script. 

Sales scripts are there for guidance. Don’t read each line off a card, word for word. It’s just not natural and when you inevitably forget a line, you’ll be feeling like a ventriloquist without its doll.

Instead, be yourself. Prospects vibe more with salespeople who are natural and authentic. You want to build trust, but you’re not going to do that if you rigidly stick to a script you’re uncomfortable with. Adapt it and use it as a guide, not a law.

Cold Call Memes To Reignite Your Love for Sales

That’s all for now, folks. We hope you’ve enjoyed these ten tear-inducing cold call memes. For those new to cold calling, firstly: consider yourself lucky that you haven’t been doing this for years. Secondly, sorry for what’s to come. We hope you’ve gotten a glimpse into the hilarious but often brutal reality of cold calling.

From the terror of forgetting your sales script to the painstakingly long hours of chasing prospects, we covered it with a pinch of the truth and a heartwarming dose of humor. Next time you or your team find yourselves on the end of a barrage of abuse or forgetting your lines, just remember, you’re not alone.

Also remember, this post was for fun! It’s not always that bad…

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