Sometimes you feel as cool and fresh as 1999-Matrix Keanu Reeves…at other times you maybe feel like his crusty counterpart (below 
). No disrespect to disheveled Reeves. In fact, I’m well acquainted with this look myself (especially in the mornings)!
If you’re having one of those days where you feel like a hot mess, then you’re not going to be in the mood for an online meeting. Are you looking for excuses to avoid a video call? Buckle up, because we’ve got oodles of excuses for your misuses!
This is our ultimate guide to getting out of meetings in style – and hopefully without getting fired. In our guide, you’ll find beginner-level excuses to laugh at, the very best excuses from Reddit and Twitter, and some of our own tried-and-true gems!
Or, if you’re looking for a particular style of excuse, then skip to whichever tickles your fancy, including:
- Humble old faithfuls – typical beginner-level excuses to pull from your pocket. These are rated as ‘easy’, but aren’t particularly daring or interesting.
- Excuses from the Twitter-verse – the people of Twitter have spoken! As usual, they’re being weird.
- Legit excuses – slightly higher difficulty level than ‘humble old faithful’ excuses, but possibly more rewarding.
- Blame it on the kids – for parents only. Or anyone who can convincingly pretend to be a parent.
- Play it dumb – playing innocent can get you out of a lot of pickles.
- Total bonkers excuses – these ones are so crazy, they just might work…?!
- Toilet, toilet, and more toilet-related excuses. – so what? We never claimed we were mature.
- Women’s edition. Female-only excuses.
- Crafty excuses – for the connoisseur of meeting excuses, who wishes to employ a more…high-brow style.
- Loopholes – for those who want to have their cake and eat it too. You’ll see what we mean…
- Our own excuses – gems we’ve used among our team.
@tldv.io Worth a shot. #fridaymeeting #corporate #meeting #fridayfeeling #9to5 #boss #workingweekends #badconnection ♬ original sound – tldv.io
Humble old faithfuls
Let’s breeze past the typical and the boring – here are your old faithfuls. These have been tested by many, and have been certified as ‘easy’, and are relatively high on the believability scale. However, over-usage can lead to serious complications.
#1 WiFi problem excuse
You can’t attend an online meeting unless you’re able to go online. Just be sure to send this excuse via text message or phone call…because otherwise…you’re kind of busted.
#2 No electricity excuse
The electricity cut out AND coincidentally, you have no power on ANY of your devices. Such a shame! And such terrible timing…
#3 The “I’m sick” excuse
Was it the burrito you ate last night? Who knows! Nobody needs to know. Only a real a-hole is going to quiz you on your symptoms. Although, you may want to prepare a list of symptoms in case you do get quizzed…
#4 Bathroom-break excuse
As the famous saying goes, “behind every great meeting-evasion is a toilet excuse”. These excuses might be embarrassing, but they’re failproof. You may go into much detail as you dare.
#5 “The meeting isn’t working” excuse
“For some reason, Zoom is insisting I enter a pin to enter the meeting. Damn you, Zoom. Hop onto Google Meet, you say? Nope. Weird voodoo happening over on G Meet too.“
#6 Clashing-meetings excuse
“I just realized I have another meeting at the exact same time as our meeting. Argh, I’m going to have to prioritize this other one… such a pity.“
#7 “I didn’t know” excuse
“What?? We had a meeting? I didn’t get ANY notification. My calendar doesn’t show a thing…that’s so weird…”
#8 Time zone differences excuse
“Wait, we’re now in daylight savings?! I had absolutely no idea.”
#9 Didn’t get the invite excuse
“I would have loved to join, but somehow your meeting invitation went to my spam box.”
#10 Blame it on the family / the pets / the spouse / the boogie
Get inspired by Michael Jackson. If you want to avoid a meeting, blame it on the boogie. And the best thing about this excuse is that everyone will get the song stuck in their head.
#11 Jury duty excuse
Lady Justice is calling. I bet you didn’t think of that one! (This one becomes a little suspicious when you use it every week).
#12 I’ll just watch the tl;dv excuse
Tell them you’re just too busy, but you’ll catch up on the tl;dv. If they look confused, tell them they need to start recording Zoom meetings with the free virtual meeting tool. They can send you the important moments or tag you when your input is needed – because let’s face it. You’ve got better stuff to do. Like rewatch all 6 seasons of Breaking Bad.
tl;dv works for recording Google Meet calls, too – so there are no excuses not to be using this tool!
Excuses from the Twitter-verse
David QC put the call out to Twitter, for the best and most creative excuses to avoid “tedious meetings and unwelcome Zoom drinks”. This attracted some excellent responses…
Writers of Twitter – can you put your creative talents into thinking of excuses for the rest of us to avoid tedious meetings and unwelcome zoom drinks? Old favourites like “I’m sorry, I’ve got a thing that night” and “I’m not in London then, I’m afraid” no longer cut any ice.
— David QC (@DavidMuttering) March 31, 2020
#13 Politely decline excuse
The people of Twitter certainly like to finesse their excuses, unlike the people of Reddit, which you will see later in this article.
This still works. pic.twitter.com/ZqiUA7nXKK
— Letters of Note (@LettersOfNote) March 31, 2020
#14 Behave like a brat
This one is not an excuse, but rather a trick. Simply ensure that you never get invited again. The downside, you’ll probably also get fired. This tactic is definitely not for beginners! This excuse is for when you’ve reached rock bottom.
Flip it. Enthusiastically attend one. Behave outrageously. Offend everyone. Eat all the virtual canapes. You won’t be invited again.
— Deborah Samuel (@deborahmsamuel) March 31, 2020
#14 Become a social outcast
Feel like ruining the relationship with all of your colleagues, for the sake of skipping a meeting? Then quickly run down to your local antique store, spend a minimum of $1000 on antique war memorabilia. Soon enough, you’ll be on your way to self-isolation!
Set up the laptop in the room with the, erm, ‘wartime memorabilia’. The invitations will soon dry up.
— Mark Gillies (@5goalthriller) March 31, 2020
#15 Zoom-Room is occupied
After-hours invitation? No worries! Just say your one-and-only Zoom room is occupied by somebody else in the house.
Sorry , another Family member has booked the zoom room at that time
— Jonathan Black (@jonblackbsb) March 31, 2020
Okay, so you’ve used up all of the ‘standard excuses’ and you’re in the market for something a little more ‘creative’. Check out these legit excuses.
#16 Step-by-step excuse action plan!
For those who aren’t comfortable making an excuse without a 5-step action plan.
#17 Therapist appointment excuse
Ain’t nobody going to argue with you about that one!
#18 Scheduling error
Similar to the ‘clashing meeting’ excuse, but specifically for managers. If you’re in a pickle, simply skip the meeting and blame the intern for making a scheduling error. Done and done! This excuse is brought to you by Tosaylib. You legend!
#19 Dealing with a client excuse
Maybe your client called you about an emergency. Perhaps a last-minute client request came in. Whatever it is, the client comes first – and your boss knows this, which means they’ll much rather you attend to the client! This excuse is ALSO brought to you by Tosaylib. You sure know how to get out of meetings, legend.
Blame it on the kids
#20 Sick kids excuse
It is bound to happen sooner or later! Kids get sick a lot, which means you get to use this excuse a lot. From runny noses to chickenpox, there’s a long list of illnesses you can cite.
#21 Diaper-overload excuse
I think nobody would blame you for missing a meeting due to diaper problems. Some things just can’t wait.
#22 Blame it on the boogie
If blaming it on the kids is not your thing, you could just blame it on the boogie. Yes, yes, I’ve listed this excuse twice…but that’s because it’s so good. Turn your webcam on, and then just moonwalk out of frame. Everyone will understand.
Playing dumb
Some people have a certain knack for playing innocent:
If you are one of these people, then go ahead and use any of these excuses.
#23 “I thought today was a bank holiday” excuse
This one isn’t easy to pull off, but if executed well, it’s foolproof. If it’s Monday, you can also claim you thought it was Sunday – as suggested by Tosaylib (the meeting-evader that just keeps on giving!)
#24 “I thought you cancelled the meeting” excuse
Do you have a team member who frequently changes their mind last-minute? Who regularly cancels or postpones meetings? Well, that can be really confusing!! You might not realize a meeting is on. But that’s not your fault.
#25 “I totally forgot the time” excuse
I was so busy being a hard worker, and so totally consumed with my tasks, that I forgot the time! Oops. Sorry for focusing so hard 🙁
Totally bonkers excuses
These next excuses are higher up on the difficulty scale. Proceed with caution. If you manage to make one of these excuses believable, you’ll likely run the risk of people questioning your sanity.
#26 “Somebody is spying on us” excuse
Difficulty level: master. Pretending you think somebody is spying on you in your own house, is definitely cause for concern. A big enough concern that one might have to leave their Zoom meeting.
#27 Master-level excuse
This excuse is not recommended for beginners.
#28 “A random man broke into my house last night and he’s asleep on my couch” excuse
I’d probably want to miss a meeting, too, if there was a random man asleep on my couch. Also, this excuse is so crazy that people are bound to believe it. This excuse is brought to you by Tosaylib. Will the genius never end? Keep in mind that everyone will want an update to this story.
#29 Smelly excuse
Apparently, this person from Texas throws poor misunderstood skunks under the bus to get out of meetings. Very clever.
#30 ‘I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball’ excuse
Why not? I’ve personally never tried using a laptop while having my hand stuck in a bowling bowl, but I imagine it’s very difficult. Meeting avoided!
#31 Pretend to have a wardrobe malfunction.
Let’s say you accidentally *cough cough* knocked over the webcam, revealing your underpants. I think that would earn you a get-out-of-jail-free pass for a day or two!
Apparently number two, is the number one excuse on Reddit
Surprise, surprise, that across my research, I came across a plethora of toilet-related excuses. In fact, this Reddit thread is pretty much 80% ? related. I know this probably says something about the state of humanity, but I can’t quite figure out what yet. 
In the meantime, whilst I ponder the future of mankind, enjoy these 
-related excuses.
#32 Discrete toilet excuse
In a polite manner, let the meeting attendees know you must use the lavatory. If they need details, they should not hesitate to ask.
#33 No-apologies toilet excuse
Assert your dominance. Spare no details.
#34 Dominant toilet excuse
Imma go ahead and assume this is a ‘guy thing’. 
#35 Vaguely terrifying toilet excuse
When you want to scare people with a really great excuse without actually explicitly saying the excuse. Now, how does one actually do that?
#36 Demanding toilet excuse
When your toilet needs are quite needy, and you simply need to pay the toilet a visit every ten minutes.
#37 Original toilet excuse
This excuse is for those bored with the standard toilet excuse. Simply add some spice to your ‘excuse game’ and experiment with unconventional wording!
#38-41 Triple-pointer toilet excuse
Below we have not 1, not 2, but 3 consecutive toilet-related excuses.
- “There’s something wrong with my toilet?! It’s making a weird noise and I need to sort this out as soon as possible!“
- “Yeah, I have to fix my phone. I just dropped it in the toilet bowl. Any ideas?“
- “The plumbers need my help. I’ve got sewage issues.“
Alright, I think we get the point. If you’re hanging for more proof, or want to satisfy your toilet-humor cravings, then check the Reddit links at the end of the article.
The creative art of excuses
Then there are those creative pioneers that gracefully practice the art of excuses with poise and perfection. Enjoy. 
#42 Flight is delayed excuse
Have you seen all of the fake holidays posted on social media these days? How hard can faking a flight/holiday be? There are only 103949023 videos online showing you how to fake your way through something in the social media era. You’re welcome!
#43 Faking a computer crash excuse
Yes, anyone can tell their boss that their computer, phone, and tablet all miraculously broke down at once. But only a truly creative, special kind of individual can prove it… or at least, fake it convincingly.
#44 Fire alarm excuse
Play a fire alarm sound on your phone. Act surprised, annoyed, or worried. Either way, get out of that meeting easily and instantly!
Loopholes
For those who want to have your cake and eat it too, these future lawyers have found a way to make that happen!
#45 Fake virtual background loophole
Thanks to this hero for going above and beyond the call of excuse-duty.
#46 The no-excuse excuse
For those who want to avoid the whole ‘excuse situation’ altogether. 
#47 The honorable confession
For the times you feel like you have to be an adult *sigh*.
#48 The secret excuse
I would love to tell you, but then you’d be in great danger. Honestly, it’s for your own protection!
#49 If you can’t beat em, join em
Don’t spend all of your energy trying to ‘get out of meetings’. Instead, why not put that effort towards enjoying them, however you can?
Female only excuses
Men look away. Attempting to use these excuses could result in too many raised eyebrows.
#50 I have an appointment with my gynecologist excuse
Only tell this one to your male colleagues. Even if you give them only 30 second’s notice – there is no way they’ll ask for more information about your gyno visit. This one is foolproof ladies. 
#51 ‘I think I might be pregnant’ excuse
You know, there has to be SOME upsides to being a woman! 
#52 I’m female…excuse?
Depending on the dumb awkwardness of your male colleagues, simply being a woman might be justifiable enough to skip meetings.
#53 Bad-hair day excuse
This article from Wales Online. This one explored into the top excuses Brits give. I’m highlighting my personal favorite.
Our excuses
Here at tl;dv, we’ve had heaps of our own own creative reasons thrown around as to why we can’t attend meetings live.
#54 I’m having breakfast with my mum excuse
This one was well received by the team, because, here at tl;dv we 
our mammas!
#55 Haircut excuse
There’s no shame in wanting to look your best for video meetings. When one spends all day in front of a webcam, one must freshen up their look every now and then! This is exactly what one of our team members did! We approve this message. 
#56 I slept badly…and need to rest
@tldview A living nightmare #wfh #workfromhome #colleague #coworkers #corporate #remotework #9to5 #meeting #boss #onlinemeeting #comedy #relatable ♬ الصوت الأصلي – عبدو تشان
#57 The ‘I’m too distracted right now’ excuse
Background noise? Hey, that’s not your fault. Unless your boss comes over and tells those noisy construction workers to quieten down, he or she has no right to demand your attendance!
View this post on Instagram
#58 The ‘it’s Monday’ excuse
No further explanation is needed for this one.
@tldview Monday morning meeting energy #corporate #meeting #mondays #mondaymorning #zoom #coworkers ♬ original sound – tl;dv
#59 ‘My brain isn’t working’ excuse
Best to be honest.
View this post on Instagram
#60 A personal issue came up
At tl;dv, we value people’s work-life balance. We also practice trust and equip our employees with the tools and the freedom to get their job done. If this means not occasionally attending a meeting live, that is totally fine.
View this post on Instagram
In fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret…not only is declining to attend every meeting totally fine at tl;dv – we encourage it.
Why? Because not all meetings need to be attended LIVE or SYNCHONOUSLY. (Psst…check out our guide on async meetings!)
We record our meetings, timestamp important moment, clip out the best parts, tag colleagues where their input is needed – or just lift the key takeaways directly from the transcript. Overall, less of our time is spent in meetings, and more of our time is spent focusing on the work that matters.
@tldview How it feels to work a corporate 9-5 #timelapse #meetings #9to5 #corporate #montage #lunchbreak #lordhavemercy #viral ♬ original sound – tl;dv
We catch up on meeting in our time thanks to the online meetings software that is tl;dv. This was our vision when we set out to create the ultimate meeting productivity tool, and needless to say, it work perfectly for us.
The bottom line is: don’t waste your time trying to find crazy excuses to miss meetings. Instead, get your team to record, timestamp and share meetings – so that live meeting attendance becomes obsolete.
Fin.
Credits
This array of excuses, ranging from the legitimately believable, to the down-right crafty have been created by myself, and also sourced from various corners of the internet, including:
These Reddit threads
- What’s the best excuse to use to leave a Zoom meeting?
- Anyone have any good excuses to step away from zoom meetings?
- What is a good excuse for missing a class zoom meeting?
- What are some excuses for being late to online classes/meetings/seminars etc. ?
- This Reddit genius giving his instructional on virtual backgrounds and online meetings.
- Students of Reddit, what are some good excuses to not join a Zoom meeting?
- What is the best excuse for getting out of anything?
- What is the best excuse to get out of a meeting?
- Best excuses for getting out of meetings?
These articles
- “26 Best Excuses to Get Out of Work (Or Miss Work)” by Algrim
- “Excuses for when you don’t want to go to a virtual” group project meeting by Ubyssey.
- “The 50 Most Unbelievable Sickie Excuses People Have Tried to Get Away With” by Coburg Banks.
- “Bizarre excuses people are using to get out of Zoom meetings” by Wales Online.
